and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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