well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
