The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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