ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
