I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize