Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
