...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I checked into jail on foursquare
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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