My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
