it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
