Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You're a waste of cheezeits
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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