Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
