turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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