He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
