I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
only if we run a train.
done.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
