I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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