This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
