I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
