1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
