so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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