If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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