I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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