so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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