it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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