If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
