remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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