Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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