Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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