it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize