I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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