i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
