Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
