Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
