if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
