My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm both gender and math confused
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