Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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