my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
