So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
3pm strippers are depressing
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
