i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
