Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
