You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
