Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
