I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
