I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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