I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
