Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
