Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
