I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
