First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
