also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
