so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
