Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
