bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Duck Duck Cougar?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
