I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize