I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize