Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
