I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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