in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
