But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize