well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
