she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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