You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
