i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
