sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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